There Is a Boy…

There is a boy who nearly died in the womb. This was a situation entirely unknown to his parents, and it caused them to think more about the preciousness of life. But the boy held on to that life, because God knew there was something special about to happen.

If that was not trial enough, that boy was born having been starved of oxygen during the birth. His face and fingers were blue, and he was rushed to a table by doctor and nurses for revival methods. His mother and father were overwhelmed with doubt about what to do, and could only watch helplessly from the corner and pray. And again, God stepped in and made sure that there were no ill-effects.

There is a boy who smiled and laughed through his infant childhood. As a baby, he was truly inseparable from his mother, and he could tell when she was not physically near. He was even able to sense when his father tried to kiss his mother in the next room, and would immediately begin crying, because for that moment he was not the object of her primary attention. Mother and father marveled at his sensitivity.

As he grew, this boy once gave nearly all the money he possessed to a church missions effort, because he was deeply moved by the plight of others and because, as he said, they needed it more than he did. He never told anyone that he did this, but it was observed from across the room. His mother and father watched in wonder at his selfless heart.

There is a boy who gives unselfishly of his time to others. While the temptation of self-centered youth is great, this boy spends hours doing precious and meaningful things for a neighbor, with absolutely no thought for compensation. And when that neighbor insists on a generous reward, this remarkable boy refuses over and over. When he finally loses the argument, he is truly overcome, because he gave those hours for the simple purpose of blessing another person with his gifts. One of his first thoughts is of the tithe he will give to the church.

This boy’s mother and father watch these things and they store them up in their hearts. His father, who is not known as an emotional person, is brought to tears one night when he observes the unselfish actions of the young boy. He knows that the boy is a far better person than he was at this young age. This realization makes him sad for his own selfish youth, and yet exceedingly grateful that the next generation will serve God in deeper and more wonderful way. The father realizes that his own life is but a stepping stone to something more eternal and consequential than he ever dreamed. It breaks the father’s heart to see that it took him so long to understand this purpose. But it gives him satisfaction to see God’s work being carried out with increasing desire and humility. Both mother and father are forever changed because of what they see in their own offspring.

Now, there is a young man. What will he do next?

"Twilight" and The Apple

One of the most popular teen (and older-than-teen) book series out today is Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight. There is much that can be said about this series (none of it is good, in my opinion). I have not read the books themselves, but have researched and read synopses in order to be informed of the plot, and of the writer’s purpose. I encourage others to not read the series, but to learn and teach of the dangers within and to keep it away from our children – you can start by taking a few minutes to read this excellent Christian perspective, or my daughter’s recent blog on the subject.

I simply want to comment on the cover of the first book – and what it implies about where our culture is today. The picture that appears on the cover is shown above.

You see, a long time ago, at the very beginning of human history, God created a perfect world in which to live. There was no death, no ruin, no decay…and no sin. God created things to work perfectly and without breakage. Most importantly, this system honored God and revealed His ability to create perfection. He created Adam and Eve and placed them in a Garden to enjoy His creation and live for His glory. Only one rule was set down – do not eat of the fruit of the tree in the middle of the Garden. And as we all know, after a while that rule was broken, and sin entered the world for the very first time…with the result that mankind fell away from the perfect relationship that he had enjoyed with God.

The fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil is often referred to as an apple. And that apple represents the temptation that brought mankind to be separated from God, and brought death back into the world. From Genesis 3:17-19:

‘To Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat of it,’ Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.”’

Nothing worse has ever happened to mankind than this separation. Because of that event, God had to send his Son several thousand years later to die and save mankind from making this separation permanent. The fall of Adam was the darkest moment in human history.

Yet, I fear that the weight of this event has been lost by a modern generation. Witness the very words that Stephenie Meyer uses to describe the photo on the cover of her book:

“The apple on the cover of Twilight represents “forbidden fruit.” I used the scripture from Genesis (located just after the table of contents) because I loved the phrase “the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil.” Isn't this exactly what Bella ends up with? A working knowledge of what good is, and what evil is. . . . In the end, I love the beautiful simplicity of the picture. To me it says: choice.”

So, the choice between good and evil is a good thing? To Meyer, the moment of the apple and the resultant fall of man is “beautiful”. She has forgotten God’s original purpose – that God wants a perfect relationship with us – and yet hundreds of thousands of teens fail to question the premise and position of her book. They think they are reading a “love story”. Yet, it was God’s intent that we never have to experience the ravages of evil and disease and death. This is the original love story! I would love to live in a place where I did not have this “choice”, but where God’s goodness was the only option available. Someday, we will know this existence again!

I appeal to our generation – train your children to understand the importance of that moment when we were separated from God. Help them to know that “choice” is not always a good thing. And help them to understand that our culture desperately needs to be restored to God again, back to the perfect design He had in the beginning. Mankind is not “evolving” by being granted more choices – instead, it is the very existence of our choice between good and evil that points to a brokenness. God has the cure. If you are reading this and want to know more, please write me.

Notes: The Christian Family Conference 2010 (Part 9)

My wife, oldest daughter and I attended the Christian Family Conference in Denver this past week. It was an amazing time of encouragement with other Christian parents – most of whom are devoted to homeschooling and home-training their children to be godly men and women, prepared to take on the world with a multi-generational vision. I’m posting some of the notes I took from the conference sessions. Some are sure to fly in the face of the traditions and cultures which most people would consider normal in today’s culture. But these men who spoke to us used the Scriptures, and their lives and the lives of their children are a testament to their integrity and boldness on these topics. Their words motivate me to continue to raise my children in a radical, counter-culture, God-fearing way.

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Chuck Black is an ex-test pilot turned homeschooling father. Really. He gave a lot of very practical lessons about raising our children in today’s world. One look at his family will demonstrate his success in the area of parenting – if you stop by his booth, his children are there running the show – they are polite, well-spoken, talented , and well on their way to becoming lights for God in a dark world.

Chuck did an excellent job of reinforcing my belief that it is the family, not church youth groups, that is responsible for developing maturity in our children. “Youth group” is a relatively modern creation. Our family often must choose between youth group activities…and being together as a family. We almost always choose the latter, and I believe that this is the biblical model. Please don’t get this wrong – I’m not saying that youth groups are inherently bad or evil – the point is that parental involvement should be the primary driver of spiritual and emotional maturity. Without it, youth group gatherings can be simply a pooling of immaturity with no real lasting value. When the parents abdicate the role of being the main spiritual mentors and enforcers in the family, the children are operating at a severe disadvantage.

“Equipping Your Children to Overcome the Cultural Pressures of Today” by Chuck Black

· One-hundred years ago, children transitioned to adulthood in a very short time, and at a young age. Today, we allow them seven to eight years of “teenage time”. This is a new invention – it didn’t used to be this way.

· Part of the reason is that there is a lot more time, money, and available entertainment in today’s society

· Children are maturing physically at an earlier age, but their spiritual and emotional maturity is coming later – this creates a maturity gap that is often filled with entertainment – and Satan is targeting this gap, instead of allowing the family to fill it

· Negative peer pressure and broken relationships exacerbate the maturity problem

· Problems in today’s society that need strong parenting in order to avoid them:

· 1) Large amounts of time are spent with immature youth – limit it, monitor it, or stop it!

· 2) Our children are culturally encouraged to spend time with, or have physical relationships with the opposite sex, without commitment – don’t allow it!

· 3) Young people are culturally discouraged to marry at an early age – this creates physical pressures and may increase the length of the maturity gap

· 4) Our children live in an entertainment-oriented world – one way we can push back against this is to help our children discover the joy and accomplishment in labor

· 5) We have culturally established academic education to take place outside of the home – parents are rarely seen as teachers anymore, and this is a fairly recent change in our society (over the last 150 years). Homeschooling restores this area to its proper place.

· 6) We have culturally established spiritual education to take place outside of the home – many parents see Sunday school or youth group as being the prime places where their children will learn about God, and so have abdicated the role of being the spiritual leaders of their family, in favor of a youth minister or another parent.

· When you see a young man or woman who is especially mature for their age, ask yourself – did they get that way because of what happened to them at school, at church…or at home?

· Chuck Black’s wife calculates that homeschooling allows her to spend 15,680 more hours with each of her children than if she had sent them to public school. There is a lot of mentoring and heartfelt communication that can take place during those hours.

· The responsibilities of parents toward their children: 1) Lead your children to the Lord, 2) Train your children, 3) Discipline your child, 4) Equip your child, 5) Protect your children from physical, emotional, and spiritual harm, 6) Carefully expose your children to important things – keep them innocent, but not ignorant, 7) Disciple your children in the Lord – and be purposeful about this, 8) Launch your children toward a target

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Back to Notes: The Christian Family Conference 2010 (Part 1)
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Notes: The Christian Family Conference 2010 (Part 6)

My wife, oldest daughter and I attended the Christian Family Conference in Denver this past week. It was an amazing time of encouragement with other Christian parents – most of whom are devoted to homeschooling and home-training their children to be godly men and women, prepared to take on the world with a multi-generational vision. I’m posting some of the notes I took from the conference sessions. Some are sure to fly in the face of the traditions and cultures which most people would consider normal in today’s culture. But these men who spoke to us used the Scriptures, and their lives and the lives of their children are a testament to their integrity and boldness on these topics. Their words motivate me to continue to raise my children in a radical, counter-culture, God-fearing way.

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I wrote a three-part blog series on this very topic about a year ago – when is the right time to put our children out into the world to make a difference in others? I definitely do not believe that we are called to place our children in the “evangelism field” in first grade – at that age, there is too much danger that the world will influence them more than they will influence the world. Jesus himself prepared for his ministry well into his adult years before taking on the world (and even then, he spent his efforts training twelve other men to go into all the earth).

“Raising Children That Will Stand” by Kevin Swanson

· When should I release my children to the culture? When they can change the world – not when the world can still change them! If your children are being changed by their immersion into the world, then it’s too early for them to be in the situation they are in.

· Karl Marx has achieved exactly what he wanted in our culture today – the destruction of the family. “Abolition of the family! … The bourgeois family will disappear, in the course [of history] as its supplement [private property] disappears, and both will vanish with the destruction of capital.” - The Communist Manifesto, Chapter 2, Karl Marx & Friedrich Engels. Just look at our divorce rates and single-parent statistics to see some evidence of family destruction at work among us.

· The husband-wife marital relationship, for the first time in America, is now in the minority – less than 50% of families conform to this model.

· The solution to managing a successful Biblical family is found in Malachi 4:6 – “He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers”

· By 2035, in one more generation, we may see an utter breakdown in society, unless God in His grace works through us for healing. But remember – no matter what happens, Jesus Christ reigns supreme.

· Research Rudyard Kipling’s “all that glitters is not gold” poem – did Kipling foresee our American society’s downfall?

· “Homeschools are the monasteries of the new Dark Age.” – quoting a Roman Catholic priest who believes Christianity may still be salvaged in America

· Our boys are not always turning into effective men – because Dad can’t get home from work to raise them

· “Boys cannot play computer games…while Rome burns.” Neither should fathers…

· We need mighty men of God to pass on the vision for future generations

· And we need boys who are willing to run out and cut off the giant’s head – just like young David did. The giant, in this case, may be a cultural or philosophical tenet – like evolution or pornography.

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Back to Notes: The Christian Family Conference 2010 (Part 1)
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Notes: The Christian Family Conference 2010 (Part 5)

My wife, oldest daughter and I attended the Christian Family Conference in Denver this past week. It was an amazing time of encouragement with other Christian parents – most of whom are devoted to homeschooling and home-training their children to be godly men and women, prepared to take on the world with a multi-generational vision. I’m posting some of the notes I took from the conference sessions. Some are sure to fly in the face of the traditions and cultures which most people would consider normal in today’s culture. But these men who spoke to us used the Scriptures, and their lives and the lives of their children are a testament to their integrity and boldness on these topics. Their words motivate me to continue to raise my children in a radical, counter-culture, God-fearing way.

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Voddie Baucham is perhaps the strongest, best preacher I have ever listened to. He is clearly a dedicated family man, preacher, and evangelist. His words on education take you from his days being raised in the rough part of Los Angeles, to his story of obtaining advanced degrees from multiple notable colleges (including Oxford University), to his words on the dangers in higher education today. If you want to be seriously challenged, visit his website (but remember, I warned you, it is serious stuff). For my own words on higher education, visit here or here.

“Harvard or Heaven” by Voddie Baucham

· First of all, college is not inherently sinful, or completely useless. That is not what we’re saying.

· God calls us to prepare our children for heaven, not college or career. But this doesn’t mean that no one should go to college.

· So, what is potentially wrong with college today? There are five specific things.

1) Most undergraduate degrees aren’t worth the paper they are printed on

· On average today, a high school diploma will net you $1.2 million of income over your entire career. A college degree will get you $2.1 million. A master’s degree will get you $2.5 million.

· But, you can give your 18-year old a check for $10,000 (just once, and this is far less than you would pay for the first year of most colleges), and encourage them to save $500 a month during their “career”, then they will have $1 million in the bank by age 51. So, if being a millionaire is the goal…..then this is a pretty safe route to get there.

· Read the Forbes magazine article from January 14, 2009 entitled “The Great College Hoax”. It’s eye-opening.

· The “loan sharks” charge more, higher education costs more, the return of a college degree is less – all because the colleges know that America worships at the altar of higher education

· If you go to a decent state school and get a B.A degree, you can spend between $80,000 and $250,000 to get a four year degree – in “specialties” such as Film Studies, Art History, Dance, Chicano Studies, Interior Design, African-American Studies, Packaging Science, Metalsmithing and Jewelry, Golf and Sports Turf Management, and Surf Science. You can even get a four-year degree in Painting – not artistic painting, but how to paint a living room! Really! The point here is that people are paying tens of thousands of dollars to get a degree – just because they can. The reward of having these degrees is very limited.

2) Four years is too much time to waste

· If you are getting a degree that is worth nothing to your future career, or to God’s kingdom, then you are wasting four very productive years of your life

· From ages 18-22, people start careers and families. Read Malachi 2:14-15 to see what God places importance on in our youth.

· A lot of people pick majors in college because they simply don’t know what they want to do, or because they have flunked out of their first or second choice. And a wrong choice of major made during college can limit your options for life.

3) College costs too much money

· The economy is down, but tuition and enrollment are up! How can we explain this except that people are worshipping the idea of education, rather than analyzing the product?

· Are we counting the cost? See Luke 14:28-30. Yet, families are going into debt for college educations. And young families are starting their marriages knee-deep in debt – at a time when this burden should not be on them.

4) College is not for everyone

· Not everyone has the academic ability to go to college. But this does not prevent colleges from enrolling them as paying students!

· Long ago, when there were only a few universities in the United States, students used to have to know Greek, Latin and Hebrew – before being admitted to college! Now, an average college will take you if you have a pulse and a loan. College is a business, and people who are willing to pay tens of thousands of dollars each year are welcome.

· A new college model to generate more revenue is to allow unqualified students to enroll – but then put them through a year of “remedial” classes – turning a four-year degree into a five-year degree….and charging full price for that extra year. Think about it.

· You don’t have to have a college degree to support your family! Don’t believe the lie that is told about this!

· Those who graduate from college generally don’t know anything about the business world – they have to be trained in their first job. Why not cut out the middle-man (universities) and apprentice them right out of college?

· What about my kids – what should I do? 1) Analyze their gifts and talents (Proverbs 22:6), 2) Analyze their desires and callings (1 Timothy 3:1), 3) Ask yourself if college is necessary, 4) Follow the Lord’s leading

5) Most universities are philosophically antagonistic to Christianity

· Professors are often the enemies of God (not always, but often)

· Proverbs 13:20 – the companion of fools will suffer harm – it’s a promise

· Students are often guided strongly by their teachers – in life, morals and character

· So what if I decide that college is for my child? 1) Do it as quickly as possible (Ephesians 5:15-17), 2) Do it as inexpensively as possible (Luke 14:28), 3) Do it as safely as possible – don’t send your children into a lion’s den, evaluate the environment they will be in, consider college near to home

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Back to Notes: The Christian Family Conference 2010 (Part 1)
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Teenagers Don’t Have To Be Immature

We live in the age of the teenager. Entire businesses and marketing campaigns are designed around the teen years. Kids look forward to this period because many believe that it is a time for “sowing wild oats” and getting out from under their parents’ oversight.

Believe it or not, the word teenager is much less than a century old. The word “teenage” was first observed in the 1920’s, and “teenager” didn’t appear until the late 1930’s. The word “teenager” entered the mainstream when it appeared in a 1941 article in Reader’s Digest and has made progressively more appearance in everyday language.

It’s not so much the language or the word that is meaningful , but more the “concept” of the teenager. Before 1920, people were thought of only as children or adults. There was not a third life stage to be considered. A child worked with his or her parents to learn and mature, and would one day become an adult – no in-between mode of rebelliousness was expected (rebellion surely happened in certain cases, but it was not a given that children would experience this). The Bible supports this two-tiered thinking.

Does our society now expect a period of defiance in our children? Do we think it’s a good thing, and that it’s just part of the maturing process? Without a doubt, there are some children who have gone through this period and come out stronger and as better human beings on the other side. And I detect a distinct expectation from some parents that their children must go through a disobedient, disrespectful phase in order to learn life lessons that are necessary for maturity. But I don’t believe it.

Simply put, we should not expect that our children will go through a phase of rebellion. It is not only possible for them to avoid this trap, it is a desirable thing, and one that every parent should pray for. By expecting such a phase in our young adults, we give in to the lie that “teenage rebellion is acceptable” and pass on to our children a permission slip to do wrong. In some cases, these children will not recover from the temptations and addictions that await them in this very formative period. It is better that our children are taught to see this period for what it really is – a retreat from necessary parental guidance and oversight.

History records some fine examples of men and women who progressed from childhood to adulthood, with no intermediate stopover. Alexander the Great became a ruling regent when he was only sixteen. Joan of Arc led armies to victory and brilliantly defended her faith before the age of nineteen. Goliath looked down on David and “saw that he was only a boy”, but Goliath would be dead only a few minutes later, killed by that very youth. When looking at the historical account of David’s life, I see no evidence of rebellion or disrespect to his father – only that he obeyed his father and proceeded to do great things, even though he was very young.

It is my expectation from my own children that they move from childhood to adulthood without the rebellion that often occurs in between. My oldest is now fifteen, and for those of you who know her, you can witness that she obeys and respects her parents, while still progressing into the period of maturity and adulthood. I’ve had many talks with her about this very subject. “Don’t be an immature teenager just because others around you think it’s okay. Don’t disrespect your parents, even in private circles away from home, merely because you see others engaging in that practice. And start doing great things for God and others, right now, because you have the maturity to go straight to adulthood.” Paul summed up the parent’s message perfectly in 1 Timothy 4:11-12 – “Command and teach these things. Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.”

The “teenage years” are a relatively new concept in history. In less than a hundred years, our society has moved from the viewpoint of expecting maturity at an early age to one of catering to teenage immaturity and encouraging reckless experimentation. I’d rather reverse this trend and go back to the days when expectations were higher for young people. As a parent, I believe it’s possible to bring our children to adulthood without giving in to irresponsible behavior.

“The Day Before Last” Blues

My wife and I recently returned from an eight-day cruise of the Caribbean, in celebration of twenty years of marriage. The ship was amazing. The waitstaff and crew were extremely helpful and pleasant. And we made friendships in the dining room that we hope will last.

If you’ve ever been on a week-long vacation to a tropical island or another desirable destination, you know that in the first hours (for us, as the cruise ship left Ft. Lauderdale), the whole week stretches out before you, ready to be seized – but not too quickly. You begin to plan your time, making sure that you do everything that you want to, but spacing it out so as to make the week last. In fact, as we prayed over our meals, my wife and I asked God to make the time go by slowly on our vacation.

As the week progresses, you are conscious of the passage of days. At some point, you realize that you have reached the halfway point. For this recent cruise, I remember that moment, but I remember still thinking that we had plenty of time left to do the things that we hadn’t yet done. The halfway point is still filled with optimism.

For me, the real emotional turning point is the day before last. That was day seven of our eight-day cruise. Even though we still had almost two full days to go, that day was filled with melancholy as we began our “litany of lasts” – last walk around the deck, last dinner with our new shipboard friends, last free cookie and hot tea in the promenade café before bedtime. Instead of being able to fully enjoy these last few hours, each event was tempered with a little sorrow as the finality of our time approached. Maybe you have had this feeling on a vacation, or when leaving a job, city, school, or friend in your past.

There is a purpose to this observation. My oldest daughter Molly is now fifteen years old, and we have only three years to go before college potentially takes her away. The timing is equivalent to “the day before last” in terms of our time with her. I’m beginning to become aware that I have very little time left to teach and influence her on a daily basis. The reality that I may not get to experience all of the things that I have mentally planned to do with her is suddenly apparent to me.

Will we ever get to vacation as a full family in Hawaii again? Have we painted her room for the last time? Does she have clothes in her closet right now that she might pack with her on her honeymoon? Is this feeling the one that every parent experiences when they suddenly come to grips with the idea that their children won’t be at home forever?

This feeling is strong for me right now. As sad as I was to complete our fantastic cruise-ship vacation, I will be far more distraught when our family dinner table is reduced from five chairs to four. And then from four to three. Even with as much love as my wife and I have for each other, there will be an indescribable sense of melancholy when that number is finally reduced to two.

I am determined to use these last days well. From our entire child-rearing perspective, we are somewhere in the middle of day five, out of an eight day journey. The “day before last” is quickly upon us. Dear Lord, please multiply our time, give it purpose and meaning, and let my children (as well as me and my wife) be ready when it comes time to part ways and enter the next step in the voyage.

Harvard or Heaven?

Our family is in our fifth year of homeschooling. It has been the best decision that we ever made since having children, and the blessings that have proceeded from the decision are countless. Sometimes, it is hard for me to refrain from telling people about the wonders that we have experienced. I recognize that people are not always open to the idea, and have often formed a preliminary opinion about homeschoolers. Just to set the record straight, my wife doesn’t like wearing denim jumpers, and we don’t bake our own bread (very often).

On the occasion where I do get to share our experience, I might tend to ramble. There are so many reasons that we have found to support our decision to educate in the home. For details, check out the Further Topical Reading section of this blog – titled “(At Least) Ten Reasons Why We Homeschool” (in the column at the side). I’m enjoying one of the advantages even as I write this chapter – our family is enjoying the warmth of a California vacation in the month of October, at a time when there are very few people competing for pool time or to form lines at the theme park (we started school a week early in August so we could take this week off in the middle of the fall). Of course, if everyone were to turn to homeschooling, I would probably have to give up this advantage, but I think I could live with that.

If you read this blog very often, you’ll see that our family’s true reason for homeschooling has evolved over the last few years. I recently came across a quote from the Home School Legal Defense Association that perfectly sums up our number-one reason. “Homeschooling is not about getting your kids into Harvard; it’s about getting them into heaven.” This doesn’t mean that publicly-schooled children can’t go to heaven – but we believe we have vastly improved our chances with our own children by doing so. Is that a bold statement? Yes. Is it true for every single family? No, there is no doubt that homeschooling is not practical in every situation. Heaven and Harvard are not mutually exclusive choices that pivot on your choice of schooling. However, to better understand my position, a demonstration using gambling techniques and statistics might be appropriate.

Suppose you were asked to play one game of dice. The stakes are these – if you win, you can count on having enough money in your bank account to retire more comfortably than you have ever imagined. But if you lose, your account will go to zero. The game is simple. By rolling two six-sided dice just one time (just like in Monopoly), your win or loss will be determined. There are two tables to play on, with rules differing at each table. The rules at the first table are these: if you roll anything except a double-one or a double-two, you will win. But if you roll a double-one or double-two, you will lose. If you are looking for statistical calculations, your chances of winning under this scenario are 94.4% (there are 34 winning combinations out of a potential 36).

Things are a little more restrictive at the second table, though the reward or loss is exactly the same. At this table, your roll must contain a six on at least one of the dice to win. If the roll doesn’t contain a six, you will lose. Again, for the statistically-minded, there are 11 winning combinations out of 36 possibilities – a 30.6% chance of winning.

It may seem silly to ask the question, “Which table would you choose to play?” But these odds are exactly what statistics tell us about children remaining faithful when they enter the university system. A study conducted by the National Home Education Research Institute and often presented by Pastor Voddie Baucham shows that 70-88% of professing Christian teens fall away from their faith at the end of their freshman year in college, while only 6% of homeschooled professing teens fall away in that time frame. Consider those statistics again…there is at least a seven out of ten chance that a publicly-schooled child will reject God after their first year of college. Less than one out of ten will do so if they are homeschooled.

This study may be tough for some to accept, especially when so few of us believe that such a prognosis could possibly occur in our own family. And we should understand very clearly, the study does not explicitly prove that schooling is the only factor that determines a child’s grasp on God’s grace. It stands to reason that a homeschooled child will have more parental involvement in his or her life, and this is a big contributor to the Christian walk. I believe further study would conclude that public-schooled children who enjoy a devoted father and mother, and a family who prays and worships together regularly will improve on the 70-88% odds greatly. But once again, any study that concludes with such a diverse result – 70-88% versus 6% - is either flawed, or else it has uncovered a fundamental issue to be considered.

Please bear with me for a moment on this. I recognize that there are some families for whom homeschooling is not possible. Single parents raising children, or parents in family situations that don’t allow the time or monetary investment required for quality homeschooling will struggle under the demand. But for those of you who are considering the pros and cons of home education, don’t neglect to consider the eternal, spiritual perspective because statistics show that the benefits are very real.

I have spoken with many parents who are often shocked at what is being taught to their children in public school. Mere theories such as evolution and global warming are taught as fact. More importantly, the idea that there is a God who created our universe and us, and who wants to have a personal relationship with us is suppressed, and often ridiculed. I know, because it happened to me in multiple instances in public school almost thirty years ago.

Unlike the dice game, the state of our children’s souls is not a random event. Thankfully, God’s grace is the ultimate determining factor in that outcome. But when our children reach the age where the schooling venue decision must be made, do we put as much thought into it as we would our investments and retirement asset distribution? To a degree, we are forced to play the game and choose which table we will play. I understand that there are far more pieces to the puzzle than we deal with in these few paragraphs. High-quality parental involvement and influence takes many forms. But I am personally unwilling to take the additional risk, and gamble away my children’s eternal salvation. I cannot control every detail in the lives of my children, but I can limit their exposure to the godless mindset that has infiltrated our public schools. My children’s eternal destination is far more important to me than my retirement account, and I spend far more time working with them on their A-B-C’s than I do manipulating my 401(k).

For those interested in a very clear opinion on home education versus public schooling, check out http://www.voddiebaucham.org/vbm/Blog/Entries/2007/5/22_SBC_Education_Resolution_2007.html. Fair warning – prepare to be challenged by Pastor Baucham’s writings.

The Best Theme Park Vacation

During a recent family vacation to a theme park in California, I was shocked at how many fathers were conducting business while standing in line with their children. It seemed in every line where we stood, fathers were on their cell phones talking about business deals, or on their Blackberry’s doing e-mail. Sadly, there were many times where I looked at the children standing next to their father, and saw sad eyes searching desperately for attention, but which received nothing back. Children asked questions or made comments and were answered with nothing but silence or a sharp shush.

I’ll admit that I find it hard to “turn off” work at times, and more than once I have checked my Blackberry at the wrong time while on vacation. I’m trying to do better. My family tells me that I am. But I wonder sometimes if our nation has lost touch with what vacation is really about. Can we truly not get away from work and enjoy our families for a few days without interruption? Does Dad think he’s done enough by simply buying his child an entry ticket to the amusement park? Does his responsibility to his family end there? Perhaps no father would answer a straight “Yes” to those questions, but his actions may say otherwise.

Interestingly, I observed another phenomenon while at the park. Nearly everywhere we looked, kids were complaining to their parents that they weren’t getting enough. “Daddy, when are you going to buy me something?” was asked more than once. My own kids saw this and were saddened by both the selfishness we saw in the children and the permissiveness we saw in the parents. Parents were buying toys and theme park paraphernalia just to quiet their children for a short time. One little girl appeared to be out of control, and my daughter observed the father telling his wife, “Let’s just buy her something, so she’ll stop acting this way.” And they did.

Our family returned to the hotel afterwards, and we talked about these things during our daily family devotional (yes, we conduct devotionals even when we’re on vacation). I was so pleased that all three of my children were able to talk about what they saw around them at the park, and they did it in such a way that they didn’t denigrate the other people, but expressed sorrow in what they saw. I shared with them how proud I was that they would not behave in the manner they had observed, but also how important it was that they could notice the permissive behavior in other children (and parents). I was able to tell them about the qualities that I admire in each of them, overcoming these childish tendencies, and progressing onto maturity. Finally, I told them how important it will be to share these views with their own children. It’s all part of the multi-generational vision that my wife and I have for our children. If we can teach our children about godly behavior and also teach them to teach it to their own children, then the behavior perpetuates for more than just a single generation. The idea comes from Proverbs 13:22 – “A good man leaves an inheritance for his children's children.”

Colossians 3:20 sums up with “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” It is written directly to children, which means that children should be reading the Bible and seeking understanding from God. This may seem extreme to some in our society, as many have purged the expectation that children could possibly be expected to understand the wisdom of God’s nature or spend time with Him pursuing a deeper relationship. And yet the Bible gives us the example of Samuel, who “was ministering before the LORD - a boy wearing a linen ephod” (I Samuel 2:18). Thousands of years ago, this little boy was learning to be a priest, in piety and obedience, at a very early age. Was he special in some way that cannot be duplicated in today’s world? I doubt it. It is more likely that he was simply expected to behave this way, since he was dedicated to the Lord at an early age (1Samuel 1:24-28), and so he simply fulfilled the expectation.

This is the point – our children will mature at the rate that we expect. If we raise the bar for them at an early age, work patiently with them, and show them piety in our own lives as parents, there is no reason to believe that we can’t raise our own little Samuel before God. Give them a godly goal and a parental example, and they will follow it into maturity. Young parents – now is the time to set this family goal and begin the journey for your children. And for parents who have already started raising their children and wish to make a course correction, please realize that it’s not too late. My wife and I made a change while raising our first child, and we could not be more proud about how her heart has turned to the Lord. It will require a life change of your own to show them that you are serious and intent on following God’s purpose for your family. It may require that you start doing things differently than you have in the past, but you should understand that it’s all worth it. Satisfying theme park vacations (and special blessings every day) are the reward for godly parents who wish to raise godly children.

The Drinking Age Debate

For parents placing their children in the hands of universities across our nation, be warned - 123 college presidents want to lower the drinking age. The leaders of these colleges have gone on record with the Amethyst Initiative to make the claim that young people cannot wait until they are twenty-one to take a drink of alcohol.

Why do they make this claim? Because they believe that the age limit of twenty-one encourages irresponsible behavior in those under that limit who wish to drink.

Okay, if the irony of that statement didn’t take you by surprise, please go back and read the last paragraph again. The argument is being made that legalizing alcohol consumption at a younger age will lead to more responsible drinking. Let’s step back for a minute and theorize the thinking on the situation.

Currently, the age limit to consume alcohol is set by each individual state, but is “threatened” by the federal government, who will subtract ten percent of a state’s federal highway money if they set the minimum age at anything below twenty-one (the infringement by the federal government on individual state’s rights is a separate topic). To my knowledge, no state has tested that threat. The university presidents see two problems – 1) under-age individuals show disrespect for the law by acquiring fake ID’s, and 2) these same teenagers participate in binge-drinking because they cannot consume alcohol legally.

So, following their thinking, let’s presume to lower the drinking age to nineteen. Anyone who previously acquired a fake ID and was between nineteen and twenty-one is now in the clear. But how does this touch the second item – binge drinking? Their argument is that underage students currently hide and drink in large doses because they don’t have the freedom to consume an occasional beer without the threat of being arrested. Okay – maybe that argument holds some weight, though I have my doubts. What I observed in college was that students participated in binge drinking simply because they wanted to, even those who were legal.

Isn’t the real issue here one of teaching responsible behavior and respect for the law to our teenagers? By lowering the legal drinking age, we are essentially telling our children, “There’s no way we can trust you to do the right thing, even though the law prohibits you from drinking before you are twenty-one. We just don’t think you can wait. It worries us that you will choose to consume alcohol in great quantities because your desire to experiment is greater than any sense of self-control that your parents instilled in you. So we are going to lower the legal age, and trust that you will now drink responsibly because there is no threat of legal or police intervention. Enjoy!”

And so, it is proposed that we modify the law to accommodate underage drinkers, believing that this will solve the problem. But what about the eighteen-year-old who is now only one year away from legal drinking and will suffer the same pressures and temptations as the twenty-year old used to? Do we modify the law yet again to accommodate these teens, who are of an even less likely age to demonstrate self-control? Is there a magical age where this practice stops? Do we look at other age-related rights such as smoking and driving, and consider lowering their legal entry point in the hopes that we will produce less wrongdoing?

The real solution to the problem is for parents to raise their children to be responsible. Parents must once again claim the responsibility for bringing up children to be mature adults. And this doesn’t mean it starts when the child turns eighteen and goes to college. Our current expectations that teens will go through a rebellious adolescent period are relatively new. There was a time when marriage during the teen years was commonplace – I believe because maturity was expected and acquired at a much younger age. Families were started, careers launched, and maturity set in at the same ages that we now send children off to four years of college. Is it possible that we have slipped into a routine where we not only assume adolescents will rebel, but we laugh it off, fund the nonsense for four years at a university, and lower the age of legality in the hopes that it will encourage the maturity that used to be expected?

I recognize that some people reading this may feel unfairly treated or may even be offended. Many families today are in no shape to survive financially, they are split beyond repair, or they have no hope of recapturing the loss of innocence in their children. I am saddened by that, and I pray that we can find a way to bring those families back to the Lord’s blessing and comfort. But for those families who are fairly young and still have the opportunity, I encourage you to give yourselves up to the training of your children. Establish in them a godly, moral sense of direction. Talk to them often about temptations that they will face and how to combat the evil one. And have high expectations that by the time they reach their early teen years, they will have the maturity and wisdom to go out and face the world with an unshakeable moral foundation that rocks this world. Finally, teach your children to instill this character in their own children. If we begin to see this effort as a purposeful, lifetime journey, we can change the world.