My wife, oldest daughter and I attended the Christian Family Conference in Denver this past week. It was an amazing time of encouragement with other Christian parents – most of whom are devoted to homeschooling and home-training their children to be godly men and women, prepared to take on the world with a multi-generational vision. I’m posting some of the notes I took from the conference sessions. Some are sure to fly in the face of the traditions and cultures which most people would consider normal in today’s culture. But these men who spoke to us used the Scriptures, and their lives and the lives of their children are a testament to their integrity and boldness on these topics. Their words motivate me to continue to raise my children in a radical, counter-culture, God-fearing way.******************************
This talk was lifted from Voddie Baucham’s book, What He Must Be…If He Wants To Marry My Daughter. In it, he presents the high expectations that Christian fathers should have for their wife’s spouse. Society today would think these to be radical and even controlling. But, like Voddie, I am not willing to compromise on this point.
“A Father’s Role” by Voddie Baucham
· The crisis today has been caused by the fact that most of our parents didn’t do marriage well, didn’t teach us to do it well, and so we aren’t doing it well, nor are we teaching our children. Like most parents today, we are just praying and hoping that our children “find a good one”. But there is a more active role that can be played.
· “Practice doesn’t make perfect, practice makes permanent”
· The Bible is not silent on the issue of a father’s responsibility – to his family, and specifically to his daughters and sons.
· A Father’s Responsibility to His Family:
· The Old Testament is full of fatherly responsibilities – food, shelter, clothing, rest (the fourth commandment), defending the household, remembering Israel’s history, etc.
· And in the New Testament – model a personal commitment to Christ, provide for the family (1 Timothy 5:8), lead and disciple his wife (Ephesians 6:26), his children (Ephesians 6:1-4), and to lead the family in prayer (1 Peter 3:7)
· A Father’s Responsibility to His Daughter:
· Protect his daughter from male predators and bringing her to her husband as a virgin (Exodus 22:16-17, Deuteronomy 22:20-21)
· Provide a dowry (Genesis 29:24, 29)
· Provide for her by finding a suitable husband and making proper arrangements (Genesis 29:15-20)
· Consider this – in modern weddings, when the minister asks who gives the bride in marriage, it is most often heard “Her mother and I do” from the father. But this practice only came into popularity at the wedding of President Lyndon Johnson’s daughter at the White House in 1960, when LBJ was counseled to say it in order to keep the feminist vote on his side. Before 1960, that standard practice was for the father to respond to the question with, “I do”. Has our society watered down the Biblical, prominent role of the father in the raising of his daughters? Unfortunately, yes.
· Protect our daughters from rash vows (Numbers 30:3-5) – in this verse, the father’s decision can override a daughter’s vow – we don’t just say, “Oh well, it’s her life” – consider this when asked to attend the wedding if you disapprove of the person your child has chosen to marry – that’s a tough, tough lesson to learn – the best thing is to train and monitor what happens before this happens in order to avoid the situation altogether
· Some things that make us miss the pious life – we are 1) ignorant, 2) indifferent, 3) idolatrous, and 4) independent – instead of being pious and living for God, we live for ourselves
· We can only overcome the “four I’s” above with God’s help, if we go back to God’s Word, and if we obey what he says
· “Dating” recommendations – our daughters shouldn’t be dating in the sense that our society approves today – the current dating model is unbiblical and takes the place of the role of the father-daughter relationship. What is the Biblical model? 1) Model a life for your daughter to imitate, 2) teach your daughter God’s principles, 3) protect your daughter from harm, 4) get your daughter in the proximity of the right young men (and out of the company of the wrong ones)
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(I have already written a future post about the “dating” rules in our household – they are far more conservative than our society dictates, but I believe they are scriptural – coming soon - Alan)
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