Brokenness Over Sin, Acceptance of Grace, or Somewhere In Between

In a recent men’s Bible study, we talked about the sensitivity of our world to sin, and whether or not this view has changed in our lifetime. I know in my own life, I am much more sensitive to bad language or immorality in movies than I was when I was a teenager. I cannot watch some of the movies that I did when I was younger – and I cannot believe that some of the scenes I watched back then did not bother me more at the time – even though I was a Christian.

In my experience among Christians, I have found an entire spectrum of views toward both sin and grace. At one extreme, there is the person who struggles constantly under the weight of sin – one who never feels truly forgiven and is continually broken by their inability to live a perfect life.

At the other extreme is the person who, once they obtain the grace promised by God, never has a care for their actions because they know they are forgiven. The weight of sin is never on their mind, and they go through life happily and without regret, proclaiming that this never-ending feeling is exactly what Jesus wanted us to have.

But I wonder if either extreme is really what God has in mind.

There is certainly a movement in today’s modern church toward the second extreme. The grace movement abounds in this country because it is popular in a culture that strives to be constantly moving forward, and which is rarely reflective about what has gone on before. Let’s face it – we live in a country where the idea of preaching “hellfire and damnation” has passed (mostly). I grew up in the South in the 60’s and 70’s and there was absolutely no fear about preaching to people that they needed to, 1) accept Christ, and 2) change their lives, or else they would be in danger of experiencing hell for all eternity. Has anyone else noticed that the second part of this message – changing your life - is not emphasized as much in churches today? It’s now much more palatable to simply say “accept Christ” and leave out the rest. After all, America wants to get back to our normal lives – television, cars, and vacations – after church services are over. We don’t want to be too bothered about changing our lifestyle, or dwelling on our own lives to change them in some uncomfortable way. Hey, I’m guilty of these feelings as well.

So many questions come to mind. Are we called to live at one of these two extremes? Or are we supposed to be in the middle somewhere, loving grace while at the same time experiencing brokenness over our sin? Is life supposed to be a movement back and forth along this spectrum? Is the answer the same for everyone?

I could speculate all day on the right combination, but instead of relying on my own broken wisdom, I’ll turn to the Bible for answers. I see two approaches in play. In Psalm 6, David speaks of experiencing both extremes. Verse 6 says, “I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears.” But then in verses 8 and 9, he concludes with, “…the Lord has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer.” Clearly, David was moving along the spectrum, from being broken over trials he was experiencing to giving thanks that God was able to grant mercy to him.

Paul goes through the same progression in his treatise on sin in Romans 7. In verse 14, he says, “We know that the law is spiritual, but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin.” But right after speaking of his constant struggles with sin, he says in Romans 8:1-2, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.”

I once had a church leader who chided me for saying “I am a sinner” in front of a group of leaders. He told me that since my sin was forgiven, I was no longer a sinner. That moment has stuck with me for years, and I now believe that he was only partially correct. I am a sinner, just as Paul claims that he was unspiritual. But through Christ’s blood, God does not recognize my sin as a condemning feature.

So how should we live? I believe that we may move along the entire spectrum in experiencing the weight of sin – sometimes feeling overwhelmed with our inability to overcome it, and sometimes feeling only thankfulness that we have been forgiven. This back-and-forth movement will keep us striving for good, while at the same time we will be reminded of the sacrifice that Christ made for us – and how we cannot achieve heaven and God’s grace alone.

Communion Meditation – A Tale of Two Traitors

Grace is often a difficult concept to grasp. God’s grace requires that we simply accept the fact that we are lost without Jesus’ sacrifice, and that we accept his gift of redemption. It is not conditional, nor does it require me to live a perfect life before it takes effect. But we cannot forget that it requires our acceptance. Without that, we are indeed lost.

In the single day leading up to Jesus’ crucifixion, two people betrayed him. The one we often think about when we use the word betrayal is, of course, Judas Iscariot. Judas sold his Lord for thirty pieces of silver, kissed him on the cheek, and gave him up to the authorities to die a cruel death. But after Jesus’ trial, Matthew 27: 3-4 says, “When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty silver coins to the chief priests and the elders. ‘I have sinned’, he said, ‘for I have betrayed innocent blood.’”

Judas’ reaction was one of despair. Clearly, the weight of the act he had committed was torture to his soul – so much, that he immediately went out and hung himself. How tragic an end! Even after his betrayal of Jesus, I believe he could have been forgiven, but he simply saw himself as too far from God’s grace. In an effort to get away from the pain, he chose to quickly leave this life – certainly to be greeted by an eternity of something much, much worse.

We rarely use the term “traitor” when we talk of Peter. Yet, he denied knowing Jesus three different times in a very short time frame. In fact, it would seem that he did this within sight of Jesus’ trial, because Mark 22:61 tells us that just after Peter’s third denial, “the Lord turned and looked straight at Peter.” He remembered Jesus’ prediction of his denial, which he had adamantly argued against, and his heart was broken. Scripture tells us that “he went outside and wept bitterly.”

Was Peter tempted to do the same as Judas and end his life right there? Perhaps. But Peter did not kill himself, though he must have agonized for the three days that Jesus was in the tomb. The Bible does not tell us what happens to him during this time.

When Jesus’ disappearance from the tomb is reported to the disciples by Mary Magdalene, Peter is the first one to enter the tomb. He goes away confused. What was he feeling at this point? Was he worried that Jesus might be alive, and ready to take revenge on those who had betrayed him three days earlier? Peter’s understanding of Jesus’ ministry and purpose was certainly imperfect at this point. So what does he do? Probably the same thing that a lot of us do when things get stressful. He went fishing.

After recognizing Jesus at the shore, the disciples return, led by an anxious Simon Peter. And it is at this beach scene that Jesus does something beautiful. He asks Peter specifically, “Do you truly love me?” – not once, not twice, but three times. The significance of this should not be lost on us. Jesus knew that Peter needed to make this confession three times to atone for his three previous denials. Peter did not understand this at the time, but I’m certain that he did when reflecting on it in future years. His own betrayal of the Lord was wiped clean, and he was ready to start anew in serving the Lord. And this he did.

The choice was there for both of these men, and they each took different paths. The results for each man were radically different. The parallel of this story to our own is not accidental. After our denial, God gives each of us a choice – to remove ourselves from His presence, or to accept His grace. Which will you choose?

Grace In Three Flavors

Throughout the Old Testament, we are reminded that the Israelites are God’s chosen people. Even when they turn away for a time, God was always there to receive them again after they had repented. Though they were the chosen nation, they didn’t win every battle or overcome every obstacle, but only the ones which God deemed that they should win. God’s wisdom and providence was dispensed, and sometimes withdrawn when they had a need to draw closer to Him.

Like the Israelites, we Christians are God’s chosen people, bafflingly chosen by Him before we were born, but with full free will to accept or reject Him. But what does it mean to be “chosen by God”? We can’t earn a place in heaven through good works, so we desire that He chooses us. It is God’s grace that we seek – and even that can’t be earned. This is often a difficult and confusing concept for my tiny mind to grasp.

My life has consisted of three different approaches to God’s grace. I believe these different phases mirror three types of Christian approaches to the topic. First was the period where I did not comprehend the concept of grace, but assumed that the Christian life demanded perfection and sinlessness. Where I fell short, I had to pray for forgiveness and hope that God took me seriously. We still have a book in our house from my teenage years called Some Do’s and Don’ts for the Christian. I lived as if there was a list of rights and wrongs that was clear – all I had to do was live by the “right” list, and avoid the “wrong” list. In short, grace was available from God, but I did not understand that it was free for the taking. Some payment had to be demanded – that’s the way the world works. Fortunately, God’s system didn’t originate in this world.

The second phase was a revelation to me – God’s grace was available and didn’t require me to make an atonement for each individual sin I committed. In a way, this was a new type of freedom, because I had lived previously under a system where I had better know right from wrong, and I had to be aware of which side I was living on during every minute of the day. I found that God’s grace was truly bigger than my sin and this was a joyous realization. All that remained was to determine how I could earn God’s grace and be covered by its blessing. And so I sought out new ways to earn that grace, by once again applying myself to good works in the hope that God would choose to award the gift to me when my time came to leave this world.

But there is very little difference between these two approaches to grace, other than one focuses on individual atonements for every sin, and one is more inclusive in its application. Both approaches require me to do something in exchange to earn God’s grace. Like a weekly allowance that’s dependent on completing a list of chores, I was living by a catalog of “do’s” and “don’ts” that either added up to damnation or salvation.

But there is a third approach to grace, where I give up my salvation to God alone. Nothing I do can make that salvation more or less sure, provided I still call Him my God and humbly accept His offering. Grace is God’s gift to me – end of story. Why is that so hard for me to grasp sometimes? I confess that my actions and my thinking still lapse back into the first and second approaches at times. This grand plan of God’s is so foreign to my worldly way of thinking that it often requires me to disengage from the daily grind and simply ponder Jesus’ sacrifice as the incredible gift that it is. If I were designing a path to forgiveness and salvation, I would not have thought of a plan like this. My design would have included lists, training, and an elaborate scoring system (almost certainly involving an Excel spreadsheet). Thankfully, God reigns over all – not me.

Romans 5 details the sin of Adam as bringing condemnation on all men, but the sacrifice of Jesus brings salvation to all men as well. Verse 17 says “For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ.” There is a beautiful parallel contained in this chapter, of one man and the effect he can have on many men. Here is the mystery that sometimes escapes me.

God, grant me the ability to see Your grace for what it is – a free gift. And with that gift, help me to serve You in all things for eternity.